Part 4 House of Cards
When I was a kid I was handed a baby and some bathwater.
This was Christianity. The baby gave my life so much meaning, purpose and joy. My life revolved around this baby and I wanted to know everything there was to know about this baby. I took classes, I read books, I had teachers and mentors but most of all, I spent time and got to know this baby. We grew a connection. In my growing connection with this baby I started to discover things about the bathwater that this baby was sitting in. I had noticed glimpses of it before but I started to see it more clearly… the filth...the dirt.. the blood... it was sickening, heart-breaking, and infuriating. The Christianity I grew up with, only ever talked about the persecution we faced and continue to face as Christians. We were never taught to look at the mirror personally, communally, historically and biblically.
In the Bible we have violent events that have been interpreted as the will of God:
The Flood: According to the book of Genesis, God was angered by the wickedness of humanity and decided to flood the earth, saving only Noah and his family and the animals in the ark.
The Ten Plagues: In the book of Exodus, God sends ten plagues upon the Egyptians to force Pharaoh to release the Israelites from slavery, which includes the death of all the firstborn children in Egypt.
The Conquest of Canaan: In the book of Joshua, God commands the Israelites to conquer the land of Canaan, which involves violent battles and the destruction of cities and people.
The Destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah: In the book of Genesis, God destroys the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah because of their wickedness, killing all the inhabitants except for Lot and his family.
The Destruction of Jericho: In the book of Joshua, God commands the Israelites to march around the city of Jericho for seven days, and on the seventh day, the walls of the city collapse, and the Israelites kill all the inhabitants.
Historically, we have violent events that have been carried out in the name of Christianity:
The Crusades: A series of holy wars fought by European Christians to reclaim the Holy Land from Muslims in the Middle East, resulting in countless deaths, massacres, and atrocities against civilians.
The Spanish Inquisition: A period of Catholic persecution of Jews, Muslims, and other non-Christians in Spain, marked by torture, forced conversions, and executions.
The Salem Witch Trials: A series of trials and executions in colonial Massachusetts in the late 1600s, in which people were accused of practicing witchcraft and executed.
The Transatlantic Slave Trade: Many Christians at the time defended slavery and used the Bible to justify the practice, leading to the forced transportation and enslavement of millions of African people.
The forced conversion of Indigenous peoples: Many Indigenous peoples around the world were forced to convert to Christianity during colonialism, often through violent means or coercion.
I soon learned that many people get so appalled upon the discovery of this bath that they throw the whole baby out with the bathwater. I don’t blame them. The baby and bathwater have become so entangled. There are others, when confronted with this bathwater, shush it away or worse justify its contamination.
Some would even dare to call this bathwater holy. To point out its flaws and dirt is considered heresy. So they double down and continue carrying this contaminated bath. In fact I’ve witnessed people throw out the baby to double down on the bathwater. Christianity has been messy to say the least.
This baby, however, had become everything to me. I still wanted to keep the baby but I sure as hell didn’t want the baby to stay in the bath full of shit. I decided to see if it was possible to keep the baby and throw out the bathwater and maybe even find some clean clothes for the child. Is it possible to separate the two that have become so entangled? Is it possible to remain in the crossroads where deconstruction and Christianity diverge?
I decided to try.
There are aspects of the term "deconstruction" that I don't particularly enjoy, and there are associations with the word "Christian" that make me want to distance myself from it entirely. However, I made the decision to fully embrace both terms because it feels like the most honest thing for me to do. I find myself residing in a space of tension, right at the intersection where deconstruction and Christianity diverge. It's an uncomfortable place to be, and I often feel pressured to choose one path or the other. But in the midst of this tension, I have discovered something profound. Rather than being limited to just two options, there is actually a third pathway that I couldn't see before. The crossroads where Christianity and deconstruction diverge is not merely a crossroads; it is an invitation to trust God and discover a new way of living.
The journey along this path has been simultaneously isolating, challenging, and freeing. Yet, what keeps me hopeful is the realization that I am not the only one walking this path. Although many Western evangelical Christians today criticize deconstructing and progressive Christians, accusing them of leading the way to hell or trying to appeal to the masses, my experience like many others on this path has been focused on exploring a Christian history that is rich with questions and answers that I never encountered in my 30 years as a Christian. As a collective, our modern-day Christianity, seem to have forgotten or overlooked significant parts of our church history, nearly a 1500 year memory gap regarding the beliefs of some of the earliest Christians. The church today often operates with a sense of certainty and conviction about its beliefs, traditions, and practices, leading to a dismissal of alternative views or interpretations. This arrogance can make it difficult to acknowledge and learn from the complexity of our church history, and the diverse perspectives and experiences that shaped it.
Furthermore, communal amnesia can lead to a kind of intellectual laziness, where members of the church are content with simplistic or narrow understandings of their faith. This can lead to a failure to engage with the complexities of our church history, an inability to repent for atrocities we’ve committed in God’s name and an inability to appreciate the richness of our theological heritage.
Most importantly, communal amnesia can result in a loss of humility, curiosity, and openness that are fundamental to being a Christ-like community.
My prayer is for all of us to maintain humility, recognizing that we may be wrong about certain aspects of our faith, and to cultivate a curiosity and longing to understand the true nature of God. This pursuit is extremely consequential, not only for our individual faith journeys but also for how we conduct ourselves, perceive others, engage with the world around us, participate in activism or political endeavors, and shape the values we impart to our children. Our conception of God influences the way we make decisions, decisions that impact our generation and future generations.
In "How God Changes Your Brain," Andrew Newberg outlines various views of God and explores how these differing perceptions can impact brain function and overall well-being. Among the different views of God discussed in the book, two views that stuck out to me the most were:
Personal, Loving, and Benevolent God: This view of God emphasizes a close, intimate relationship between the individual and a compassionate, caring deity. Believers in this view often experience feelings of comfort, security, and support, which positively influences brain activity and emotional well-being.
Angry or Punitive God: Some individuals hold beliefs about God as judgmental, wrathful, or punitive, viewing divine authority through a lens of fear or retribution. This perception of God may lead to heightened stress, anxiety, or feelings of guilt, which can impact brain function and contribute to negative emotional states.
By examining various perspectives on God, Newberg sheds light on how certain beliefs about the divine can affect brain function and mental well-being.
Consider the second perspective: our conception of Hell offers insight into our understanding of the nature of God. If we entertain the notion of eternal conscious torment, even as a remote possibility, it reflects a punitive, judgmental, or wrathful deity. This perspective has implications far beyond even Newberg’s findings. According to Newberg, such beliefs can heighten stress, anxiety, and negative emotional states, thereby impacting brain function and overall mental health. Given that stress has known effects on physical well-being, it prompts us to consider how prevailing views of a wrathful judgmental God within Christianity today may influence not only our mental health but also our physical well-being.
But what do we do when there are passages and stories in the Holy Bible that often depict God in this light?
We have 4 choices.
Throw out the Bible and keep the Loving benevolent God.
Keep the Bible and throw out the Loving God in place of the Wrathful God.
Throw out the Bible and God.
Wrestle with the Bible and God.